For the last 3 years some of my “old” classmates and I have come together to get to know each other as adults, and to keep in touch. And I’m noticing something – these “old” friends feel like family to me.
Some of them knew me back when I was a little 6-year-old just starting first grade (I never went to Kindergarten). Some of them came in later years to the school where I attended grades 1-8, and some I began knowing during our high school years.
When we come together there is a bond that has remained over the years. We remember things like playing tricks on a teacher none of us liked (tacks-in-chair kind of stuff — well, hey – once he put my desk out into the hallway for several days for talking!), having to write sentences because of an infraction of some rule (usually talking too much!), playing softball in a nearby woodsy camp, and basketball in the gym, having girly pajama parties, and the infamous swim in the reservoir a little ways up the mountain during a recess when we weren’t supposed to leave the school grounds. Oh yes, and the pajama party at my house when I spent the first part of the evening at the dentist – and then tried to eat pizza on the side of my mouth that wasn’t numb. We remember each other’s siblings, too. These and many more incidents we remember, talk about, and laugh at.
While in many ways we pick up relationships where they left off, sometimes it takes a few times meeting as adults before we become really comfortable, and able to share deeply. It’s then that we find out some things we never knew about each other. We didn’t talk about abuse as children, nor did we talk about our deep insecurities while growing up. But now, as we learn to know each other on an adult level, some of these things come into the open more.
So far those of us who have met together have chosen to develop a relationship with God that has deepened over the years. This connection with God makes not only the childhood bonds deeper, but the present ones closer as well. It’s so much fun to share around our circle and hear how we have sensed God at work in our lives!
When it’s all said and done, our childhood bonds have held, but have been greatly strengthened by the bonds we share as God’s children. Now we can give to each other the kind of support we never could as children. Now we can pray with each other, we can talk on a deeper level (when we get one-to-one or on FB!), we can support and encourage each other.
In thinking about this for the last week, I have also been thanking God for the blessing of each awakened childhood friendship. I praise Him for being a God who values relationships, and for allowing each of these special people to be part of my life. Together, we are stronger than we are alone.
Please leave a comment and tell me how you have been blessed by childhood friends!
Hello Pastor Sherry,
I love people and value relationships, but most of my life, well as least since I have been an adult, I have pretty much been a loner type.
I get along well with people and make connections all\right, but as far as really close relationships, only with my family.
I have a realtionship with God and I try to live life such as to show others that he is alive in me.
Years ago I had just started a job and on break I sat down with a group of ladies. I tried starting a conversation and they kept talking and gossiping about some of the other ladies that worked with us.
After that, I began sitting by myself. Later I met a gentleman who worked there and also felt as me, that it would be better to sit alone than to ahve to hear all the gossip of the day.
He and I became good friends and he was the best man in my wedding.
The few male assocaites that I had met along my life journey have moved away to others Cities.
If one is blessed enough to find one good friend, they should cherish that friendship. And if God is in it, all the more better.
Cheers
willie@freedom to be your own boss recently posted..A Truly Inspirational Lesson On Life
Hi Willie,
I too am very comfortable being alone — definitely not a party person unless the party has a purpose besides “just having fun.” I’m with you — I don’t like the gossip section, unless we talk about someone for the purpose of praying for and supporting them.
Friendships vary, don’t they? Some are geographically close by and available, while others are geographically distant and still in touch. There are surface friends to whom we speak about the weather and maybe the news. There are others with whom we can share some of our life. But the best kind of friends to me are the ones you mentioned — those with whom I can speak on a deeper level spiritually, as for me that includes the emotional, mental, physical, and social. It’s really nice to have those kinds of friends geographically close, but often they aren’t. You’re so right. If one has one good friend, they should cherish that friendship, especially if it’s with God. Thanks for your comment, Willie!
Sherry,
That is awesome that you have maintained these bonds with old friends. I still keep in touch with a lot of friends from way back when. It does create a unity to see them again, because they get you. They knew you when.
Andy
Andy Nathan recently posted..Utilizing Facebook and Twitter for Online Marketing
Hi Andy,
Yes, there’s something about people who “knew you when,” isn’t there? Having history with someone means it’s harder to hid anything from them, because they knew you at a time when they could look you in the face and say, “Quit fooling around and get real!” Those kinds of friends aren’t on every street corner as adults. But the best thing is knowing that we can pray for each other with depth now.
Sounds like you have come beautifully full circle with these childhood friendships. Isn’t it amazing when we get to have such awakenings as adults? Social media has definitely created a space for re-kindling of friendships to happen on levels that never were possible before. Where once it might seem as if a grudge from childhood was held on to forever, now, because of social media, I know I’ve personally been able to reach across those previous boundaries and extend a hand….of forgiveness, apology, gratitude, love….and a few of them have become close friends once again. And if not close friends, there has been a peace created that like I said, was not previously very likely to occur.
Thank you for sharing your story, your memories and your journey with us, Pastor Sherry!
Beth Allen recently posted..10 Reasons Why You May Not Be Recruiting and Sponsoring Anyone
Hi Beth,
Thanks for sharing your own beautiful experience! The world is a smaller place because of social media, isn’t it? And that’s a really good thing, especially when it brings people together and creates friendships — or at least peace — that once would’ve been lost in the annals of time. I like to think that God is bringing us back into relationship for a purpose, so I see His hand in this, as well.
Sherry, it is so great to know that you remain in close contact with your childhood friends. What I think is even more cool is you all are able to connect on a deeper level than your friendship. Many friends today (that I know of PHYSICALLY around me at least) mainly speak and connect on daily things that happen at work, amongst their families, their relationships and such) do not hold a common interest greater than everyday discussions. THIS says a lot about your circle of friends in that they hold value in their beliefs. And THAT is admirable.
As for myself, I live on a tiny island but rarely and ironically run into my school friends from my elementary days. Yea, it’s no excuse to NOT reconnect, but I know that I’ve made more friends online that value what I’m about and who I truly am. With friends like you, I am able to speak on the same level because of our attitudes and perspectives on the topic of life.
Life is more than buying the nicest car, owning a home by the age of 30, or owning Gucci handbags….but you know that already
.
I also have a lot to say when it comes to my elementary friends in that they do not practice what they preach, which really gets to me. Yea, one may say they attend Sunday mass every weekend, but the same person may also NOT follow through with the teachings and way of life religiously. I incorporate spirituality into my life and I know who I am at the end of the day (which I know is more abundant than owning a home with a mortgage attached to it) and more than I can say for the friends I grew up around. To me, life is DEEP. Life is priceless and I would not ever take it for granted by any means.
Thanks for sharing your circle of friends story, Sherry. I think it is a beautiful story and a unique & treasured one at that! Looking forward to returning here and hearing what else you have to share with us.
-Jaclyn Castro
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Hi Jaclyn,
Yes, one of the biggest blessings for me in reconnecting with childhood friends is finding that they ARE able to connect in a deeper way other than surface level. God has worked in each of our lives, we’ve had our own journeys, but God has always been a part of that.
I’m sorry you don’t have that with your geographically close friends. But in this day and age, it’s possible for online friends to fill that void, and it sounds like you have found that. That’s important, for we need each other for spiritual support and encouragement. It’s good to get to know you here!
Your childhood friends are on their own journey with God, in varying degrees. Maybe your life and relationship with God can help them see what life can be.
And by the way . . . I don’t own even one Gucci handbag
Wonderful article. I (also) value my alone time, but feel really greatful for the handful of friends in my circle who have been with me – literally through thick and thin – most of my life.
marquita herald recently posted..Continuing the Tradition – A Voyage of Awareness
Hi Marquita,
It takes special friends to go through life in that way, doesn’t it! Our lives are far more enriched with them, and would be far emptier without them.
It wonderful that you have reconnected with your childhood friends. We live in such a moble society that rekindling these friendships can bring so much joy into our lives. Although I have never had that experience of reconnecting, I often think about my high school friends and wish there was more of a connection between us. Unfortunately, the years have passed and contacts are lost, but now other wonderful people have come into my life.
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Hi Joyce,
I’m sorry you’ve never been able to reconnect with your “old” friends. Facebook is a wonderful tool, and has been what’s brought most of us together. I love new friends too, but “old” friends have history with us, and that’s special.
A few years ago, an old friend contacted me, whom I hadn’t seen in nearly 40 years. He had been my friend in 7th grade, but then our paths parted and we never really talked again.
In Gr.7, his family had just returned from several years in Thailand, Pakistan and other countries in that part of the world. David was the studious type, a scrawny kid with glasses and his red hair in a brush cut. I was drawn to him, but didn’t talk much because I was so shy. I never forgot him.
When he contacted me in 2003, I was amazed at how well HE remembered ME. He told me of a little girl who had a quiet dignity about her, despite her worn and ill-fitting clothes, and how she would never cry, even though she was the target of certain boys who would chase her, corner her and beat her up on her way home from school. He spoke of a girl who wouldn’t let anyone know how hurt she was at the merciless teasing from some of the kids because her stepfather was the town garbage man. He told me how she would stop a block from home and thank him for walking with her, and wait till he left so would not know she lived above the fruit market downtown… and wouldn’t know her stepfather was an alcoholic. It was an amazing experience, seeing myself through HIS eyes, as he saw the strength I never felt.
But the real surprise was learning that he was my champion that year. He was not a fighter himself, and he was small for his age. But he was tutoring one of our classmates, a big boy two years older than we were… and as a return for the favour, he asked the other boy to put a stop to the bullying of the others. I didn’t know I had a champion that year. Interesting to find out so many years later how and why the bullying stopped!
Willena Flewelling
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Oh, Willena, what a beautiful story! You had a wonderful friend in David. Sounds like you had a pretty rough childhood, so God gave you a friend. How sad that you didn’t know it back then, but what a blessing to know it now. Now you can have a different perspective on yourself because you can see yourself through another’s eyes.
As children, we really didn’t know how to handle the things we experienced and saw, so knowing childhood friends as an adult can put a “rest-of-the-story” feel to it. I’m glad you and David have connected again!
Hello Sherry,
I know what you mean about people who have known you for many years. Last year I flew from France to Perth in Australia on business. Just before going I found out 2 old school friends were living there. They invited me to stay with them… I thought it might be odd as we had not seen each other in 20 years;- in fact the was time I saw them they were not a couple! Now married with 2 children and living in Aus, it was as though we had never been apart though my goodness the fun we had and all the stories we retold!
Next week these same friends are flying to England from Australia, it will be their 1st trip back to the UK since they emigrated and I’m flying to England to meet them there. I have no doubt it will be lots of fun, Sadie
Oh, Sadie, both visits sound like so much fun! I can only imagine all you had to catch up on.
Boy, you in Europe sure get around. In America we may be 3000 miles apart, but it’s the same country. Australia is a wee bit further . . .
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Sherry,
It is so nice getting to know you. I ended up at your site of pure coincidence (or maybe it wasn’t so much of a coincidence), I believe in God guiding you to places and people where you should go or whom you should meet.
I used to have a very good childhood friend, she was just perfect, we shared everything but after school we went apart and was not in contact for almost 10 years. Our lives met up again after all these years and since then we live as some kind of soul mates if I can say so. I am thankful that I got her back it is really fantastic having someone that you can share your success and your problems with.
Nella from Zahnarzt Ungarn recently posted..Zahnarzt Sopron
Hi Nella,
Welcome to my site — and thanks for commenting!
I also believe that in God’s world there are no such things as coincidences. While God doesn’t bring us the pain, He can use every situation to bring us around to where He wants us to be. He always has a plan, even though we often don’t see it. I’m glad He led you to my blog!
How wonderful that you have reconnected with your friend after so many years! There is a bond with childhood friends that people used to carry through their lives when people didn’t move around much. With everyone so mobile, we have lost that. I’m glad God gave you the blessing of bringing your friend back into your life.
Sherry,
Your post makes me wonder what happened to the people I shared experiences as we grew up. I’ve found a few through Facebook and know of a few others who have passed on.
It was such a carefree time of innocence. Our biggest worry was which direction to ride our bikes and what to explore. The days were long, we’d come home dirty and tired, happy from the day looking for a bath and a good meal. The sun seems to shine differently in those days, brighter and lighter.
As we grew older and each went our separate ways the little burdens of the aging process began to pile on. Today, I trust, many of my surviving school chums have found self-development and introspection a necessary means to maintain an upbeat attitude. What came so naturally then now takes some work. But, isn’t that the nature of maturity, of being a human?
Thanks for having me take a glimpse into my past, things never forgotten, but not remembered for some time.
RICK
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Wow Rick, you have a way with words! As you described childhood, it transported me back as well. Playing at recess under the trees, in the woods’ softball diamond, swinging on the swing, riding bicycles . . . yes, maybe the sun did shine differently. But alas, one has to grow up.
Keeping that “upbeat attitude” can get buried under all the pressures and to-do lists. However, God can keep that attitude going if we keep our focus on Him. Not an easy task. It’s a fight through the maze of tasks. But it’s possible.
Facebook has certainly done us all a lot of good in bringing us into contact with friends we’d lost throughout the years, hasn’t it!
nice Sherry.
Thanks, George! Welcome to my blogsite!
Hi Sherry:
Your spiritual life is rich. I perceive you have a very personal relationship with God. Every time I read your answers to friends I realize how the Lord bless you spiritual life. Your spiritual journey is fantastic. Keep growing spiritually to bless others peoples hearts like me’
Tony
Thank you for your kind words, Tony. We’re all on a journey with God, and at different places on different issues. (A good reason for tolerance with each other.) God has been very instrumental in my life, but I’ve by no means “arrived!” I’d like to think that what He has taught me, He’ll use to encourage others, just as I am encouraged by still others. I’m glad you were blessed by this post. Thank you for sharing that!
How beautiful that you can have such wonderful friendships of so many years!
I, too have friends that I have known since grade school. They crazy part is seeing our kids play together at the same age we were when meeting! Oh my!
Its amazing. Time flies by, I have learned to protect and honor my friendships as they are such a blessing indeed.
Loved your post Pastor Sherry, your friends are very blessed to have you in their circle.
Hi Roshanda,
Thanks for your kind words!
Yes, isn’t it really weird seeing children of old friends! What’s even worse is seeing their GRANDchildren! I look at all of us and think, “Are we REALLY this old? WHEN did this happen! Did I blink?????”
But there’s something about these friendships that are very special and precious. It’s almost like we are brothers and sisters. We knew each other’s parents and siblings, sometimes we were at each other’s homes, we were in church together, and in general we grew up together. That creates a bond that can’t happen with anyone else, even though there are many other special friends in my life now.