Spiritual Life: “Unloving” Blocks “Love”

Everyone seeks Love.  But unfortunately, Unloving often gets in the way.  Unloving comes out in many ways – self-hatred, disbelief that God can love us, which harms our spiritual life, and much more.  Let’s explore this a bit in this blog.

Last time I shared some of my favorite concepts about God’s Love as seen in the Bible.  But sometimes those concepts get stuck somewhere between the eyes and the mind and one has a hard time believing it.  Or between the mind and the heart, making it easy to give lip service to something that one can’t quite grasp internally.

What happens here?  What stops us from truly believing in God’s love?

To make things easier, I’m going to use the term “Unloving.”  Unloving, simply put, is the inability to give Love or to receive Love.

Unloving can keep you away from the truth of the Bible, preventing your eyes from seeing it.  This can happen when someone has thrown out God’s Word, and chosen not to even look at what God says about them or about Himself.

It can bring disbelief so that even if one sees the Bible, they will not believe it.  Perhaps there has been some trauma in one’s past and the person has been unable to see God’s Love through that experience, so they have chosen to disbelieve the Bible and His Love.

Unloving can block the inner understanding even if one intellectually believes what the Bible says.  If your inner understanding of Love is blocked you may feel that God loves everyone else, but not you.  God takes care of and looks after everyone else, but He doesn’t care about you.  Others will have their need supplied, their relationships restored, physical healing, prayer answered, etc., but not you.  If you’ve been abused in any way, Unloving is undoubtedly having a heyday in your life.

Unloving not only prevents one from absorbing God’s love, but it can also bring Self-Hatred, Self-Bitterness, Self-Rejection, etc., along with it.  Ever have a time when you could not forgive yourself for something you’ve done?  Ever hated yourself?  Thought less of yourself than what God thinks of you (and that’s considerably much)?  That’s Unloving.  And this happens not only when someone has been abused, but also when someone has done something in their past that they are ashamed of.

Not only can Unloving block God’s Love, and keep self-hatred, etc., going in one’s mind, but it also tampers with one’s ability to experience Love from other people, and to give Love to them.  One only has to look at the divorce rate these days to see that Unloving has been very busy in marriages.  It has also been at work between parents and children, between families, friends, even strangers.  Ever heard of “road rage?”  That’s Unloving at it’s “best.”

There is a way out of Unloving!  It’s simple, but takes real effort.  I’ll share part of the solution in my next blog, but my program “Freedom From Unloving” goes into far more detail than is possible to share on this blog.  It will give you knowledge and tools to move out of the darkness of Unloving and into the light of God’s Love, and to take your journey all the way to the finish.  You can try it out by receiving (free) 5 one-page excerpts from the program.  Just click here.

Now it’s your turn!  How has Unloving been part of your life?  In what ways has God broken through this barrier for you?

About Pastor Sherry

Hi, I'm Pastor Sherry! I'm a Ministry and Spiritual Life Coach, and am committed to helping you Reach For The Summit of your relationship with God. This includes developing or transforming your personal devotional life as well as breaking through barriers such as Fear or Bitterness, that are preventing you from the kind of connection with God that you seek. I'd love to connect with you on Facebook (Pastor Sherry, Reach For The Summit), LinkedIn (Pastor Sherry), and Twitter (PastorSherry1). To receive my monthly newsletter, please sign in to the opt-in box at the top of this page!
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14 Responses to Spiritual Life: “Unloving” Blocks “Love”

  1. Yorinda says:

    Hi Pastor Sherry,

    great post which brings much food for thought.

    One thing I notice at times is that I am impatient with myself, because I know what I could do, or because I made the same mistake again. Fortunately I am more conscious of when that happens now and remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect all at once to be acceptable and lovable.

    Thank you so much for sharing this.
    Yorinda recently posted..Healthy Digestion

    • Hi Yorinda,

      It’s easy to be impatient with oneself, isn’t it? You’re in the boat with many people. My personal frustration mostly seems to be when I don’t get as much done as I’d like to. One thing that helps me when I don’t accomplish all I need to accomplish is that God holds my day, He knows what needs to be done, He also knows me, and nothing happens that He has not already made provision for. So I can turn over the accomplishments or lack thereof, to Him, and rest in the knowledge that what must be done according to HIS view, He will enable me to do.

  2. Anna says:

    Indeed, great thoughts! I am from those type of people who are very critic to themselves and of course impatient! I know I am wrong, but it is so hard to eradicate this feeling..
    Anna recently posted..veneers before and after

    • Hi Anna, Being critical of yourself only hurts yourself! Remember that you are human, not super-human, and that God loves you even if you mess up. And if HE loves you in spite of mess-ups, how can you criticize that which He loves? The bottom line of subduing self-blame is knowing how much God loves you, and then choosing to believe and act on that love by taking every thought captive. You are precious and special to God and to those who know and love you. Remember that!

  3. Hello Pastor Sherry,
    This post resonates with me. There was a time when I had this mindset that when I do something wrong, God will think less of me thus I experience self rejection.
    Then I read this article that changed my mind. According to this article, people have this misconception that God thinks like many of us do. That if we mess up, He will be vindictive and withhold His love and blessings.
    We forget or fail to see that He is after all, God.
    This article pointed out that God loves us regardless and that’s what I believe now. I still mess up from time to time but I know that I will always have His love and support.
    Theresa Torres recently posted..Super Bowl Scams: Credit Cards Can Protect Football Fans

    • Hi Theresa,

      Isn’t God good! He brings to us just what we need the most at a time when we are receptive! It’s hard for us, I think, to realize just what you said — that God doesn’t think like we do. His love is so great and vast that we cannot begin to comprehend it. While He doesn’t excuse wrong, instead of rejecting us and turning away, He patiently teaches us how to walk His way. Without this kind of love, we would not be free to grow. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Hello Pastor Sherry!
    What an excellent post on what stands between us and God! All of us want love, whether we know it or not, and yet many of us go around practicing Unloving — without our conscious awareness. I certainly did so in my younger years, thanks to my numerous childhood wounds. Shame is what stands between us and God’s love. Do whatever it takes to collapse this shame and then you’ll automatically bask in the Father’s light. Good day to you Pastor!
    Srinivas Reddy | Ask Sage recently posted..Disciplining Teenagers

    • Hello Srinivas, and welcome to my blog! It’s often those childhood wounds that steer us into unhealthy and ungodly thought patterns and actions. Unfortunately, most of us have experienced them. But God is stronger than anything else, including childhood wounds, and including our enemy. Praise God for His healing!

  5. Life would certainly be meaningful if we will live everyday of our life with this principle “Give love, get love.” I think if we will practice this and make it a habit, I’m sure God will be proud of us.
    Candice Michelle recently posted..Baby Eagle

    • That would be a great way to live life, Candice! And it fits with God’s kingdom rules, the ones that say that the more we give of anything, the more we receive in return. Plus, it would make life with others a whole lot easier!

  6. Prakash says:

    There are many reasons for not believing in god. Unloving is good term for describing various terms related love.
    Thanks for this post.
    Prakash recently posted..Bouncer : Google’s Solution For Malwares

  7. Prakash says:

    yes, Pastor its really summarize things.
    nice way to describe………
    Prakash recently posted..Vizio’s New 58-inch 3D HDTV

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